
Open
Auditions : Trump Tower Idol
Were
you a fan of American Idol? Well get ready for the newest
Idol series, Trump
Tower Idol!
To
enter, visit Trump Tower in Toronto (or anywhere in
the world!) and dance in front of their CCTV cameras!
Simply
email Trump
Tower for a copy of your image (you have the legal
access to a copy of it). There may be a charge associated
with getting a copy of the footage. If Trump Tower
refuses or if you think they are charging an unreasonable
amount for a your footage, file a complaint with the
Privacy Comissioner of Canada!
Alternatively,
dance outside of the tower and record the footage on
your own camera! Email a download link to your dance
to trump@city-toronto.ca
along with a completed copy of this
form.
Obviously
the people who work at the tower under will not find
it annoying that you are dancing outside the tower because
they are ok with the fact that they are directly or
indirectly supporting the Trump
Brand! Click
here to learn more.
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City
Toronto to permanently "Fall Back" / Introducing
25 hour/day clocks
City
Toronto loves more; more sex, more food, more sleep.
And that’s why the Fall Back Time Change goes
over so well - it’s nice to have an extra hour
of the day.
Working
with German scientists, city Toronto has developed a
new 25 hour/day clock. How does it work? The new clock
cuts five minutes of time every hour. At the end of
a 24 hour period, the clock will have conserved a full
hour of time, which can be used by city Toronto residents
to do as they please.
The Mayor was unavailable for comment as per a scheduling
error which resulted in the Mayor being late for an
important meeting. Click
here to learn more.
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City
Toronto to become Smoke-Free 2233
In
addition to the newly update warnings on niccotine products,
city Toronto will become completely smoke-free by 2233.
As
humans tend to ignore basic medical advice, warning
labels have been updated to target the ambitions of
the "westernized" subconscience. Such ambitions
include having fast wifi, seeming smart, and smelling
nice to demonstrate that you've got "it all"
figured out.
Sales
of niccotine products have been dramatically reduced
as former customers said they didn't like packaging
that suggested they weren't all that amazing after-all.
Click
here to learn more.
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TTC
: Free Rides for Drunkards
Driving
Drunk sounds like a lot of fun, but apart from the stupidity
of the act, comitting murder would put a damper on anyone's
day. That's exactly why the TTC is now allowing drunkards
to ride the Vomit Comit for free!
Demonstrate
your intoxication by showing transit staff receipts
of alcohol you've consumed, or by letting them read
your outgoing text messages. Click
here to learn more.
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Toronto
Resident Becomes World's First Person To Finish Gum
Mark
Hamm, a city Toronto Resident and owner of Blood
Diamond Shirts, recently became the World's First
person to finish his gum.
Hamm
began chewing the gum in October 2013. "It was
the last piece of gum in the pack and I was on a budget,
so I wanted to make it last" Hamm commented during
a press conference at city Toronto Hall.
The
Mayor celebrated the environmentaly-friendly finishing
of the gum by presenting Hamm with a key to the city.
The key enables Hamm to physically enter any property
within city Toronto without the fear of being charged
or arrested for tresspassing. Click
here to learn more.
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Boxing
Day renamed to Consumers Day
In
an effort to acknowledge the consumer based commercially
charging consuming society that we are all being consumed
with, city Toronto is renaming Boxing Day to Consumers
Day.
The name Boxing Day came from the age old process of
boxing a stranger in an effort to get the last on-sale
Big Screen TV.
"I don't think it's nice to be reminded of hitting
people when I'm trying to shop" said Simon T, owner
of city Toronto restaurant Glutenous.
"Let me pay for stuff I don't need with peace of
mind!"
The Consumers Day rename will also allow businesses
to tap into sales potential by making it seem like these
sales are better than boxing day and subtly instilling
fear that consumers are missing out on something big
if they do not spend on Consumers Day. Click
here to learn more.
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JOBBY
FLAGS NOW IN STOCK!

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A
Mural for White People (Finally)
Just
in time for white history months (March to January),
city Toronto has created a mural for white people, comissioned
by the "Grey
Goose" Doug Ford!
In
this modern society with shows like Atlanta,
people often forget about the the successes [failures]
of the white peoples.
The
mural begins with an over-the-top shout out to the native
peoples whom we bought [fucked over] the land from.
The mural also highlights the success of transforming
a boring [beautiful] landscape into a commercial opportunity
[cement].
The
mural is located in the Airport District right at the
401 and Kipling Ave.
Later
in the year the city will add an Islamophobia section
to the mural. Click
here to learn more.
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Cellular
Phone Signal-Free Park
High
Park will soon become North America's first Cellular
Phone Signal-Free Park.
City
Toronto will remove cellular phone signal from 90% of
the park which will allow visitors to actually enjoy
themselves versus being preoccupied with the digital
nothingness that is continuing to consume our sad little
lives.
The
removal of cellular signal will be conducted using the
same technology city Toronto obtained from the Harper
Government during the almost successful G20 protests.Click
here to learn more.
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The
Great Food Drive Challange
City
Toronto rapper DR. AKE has made a challange to super
famous rapper Drake : help organize a food drive!
"I've recorded a song to highlight food insecurity
in Toronto" said DR. AKE. "But I'm small-time,
so I am asking Drake for help because he has a huge
diverse fanbase that could actually help to endTOhunger."
The music video can be viewed here.
DR.
AKE asks Toronto peoples to "Tweet"
Drake #endTOhunger and
ask Drake to organize a food drive for the Daily Bread
Food Bank.
Should
you care about whether or not poor people have enough
food to eat, you can can donate food to city firehalls
ANY TIME OF THE YEAR AND NOT
JUST IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER WHEN YOU ARE BUSY THINKING
ABOUT SPENDING MONEY TO ADHEAR TO THE PRESSURES OF
OUR COMMERCIALLY-FOCUSED SOCIETY. Click
here to learn more.
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A
parody-comedy web-series about Toronto.
This site was not designed by a 10-year-old child with
little to no computer HTML programming experience.
©2015-2018
BLACKWATCH RECORDS. *This is a parody website. All links and images and pages and thesicks.ca and other websites/things (apart from the musicians performing at the end of episode 1, 2 and 4) are fake and should be taken as fake and not seriously. By using this website you agree to not hold The Sicks and/or David Porteous liable in any shape or form. Do not use this website while operating a motor vehicle. Anything else found on the internet related to city-toronto.ca, The Sicks or anything mentioned in The Sicks is likely fake and should not be taken seriously. The internet is not a real world nor is it a replacement for the real world. Try going outside. It's better than facebook or sitting on your mobile phone.
If you steal or copy or clone any of the ideas mentioned on this site,
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the final amount to negotiated through a series of challenges which may
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